The Talent Show

To close out the camp there was a talent show. The evening also included an Olympic trivia contest interspersed between performances. This thing was painfully long--it started at 7:30pm and went past 11pm. As it was Friday, and these kids had been wearing the same two t-shirts since Sunday, the whole room smelled like an old wet sock. To make matters worse, this girl next to me (pictured) kept touching my arm hair. She was pretty much petting me just like that gay guy a month ago (don't ask...just check out the earlier post). I kept telling her to stop, but there was no getting through to her. Erica finally offered to trade seats, since she was that girl's teacher and knew she wouldn't mess with her. Well, part of the stench, we believe, was from that same girl--we think she crapped her pants. Jes and I passed these Febreeze-like wipes between us to cover our noses. Erica regretted her decision.

Anyway, Sam stole the show with his rap performance (see 1st pic), but my own act didn't fare too badly either. Earlier in the week I played 对面的女孩看过来 (Girl From Across, Look Over Here) for the kids in class, and they went nuts. This is the kind of song in China that everyone knows--old and young alike. After class that day I was back in my dorm, and I heard a lot of the kids from my class just hanging out singing it. It's kind of infectious. Anyway, they begged me to sing it, and I agreed.

However it wasn't singing, I found out. They wanted to just coordinate a dance to the words and lip sync it. I had it pretty much memorized, so I thought this was a wussy way out. I wanted to, and did, sing and dance simultaneously. We practiced for the first time just 4 hours before the show.

The show ended up going pretty well, except that by the time we got on stage we'd been sitting there for close to 3 hours, so people were getting bored. Oh yea, and my microphone didn't work. I was pretty much shouting, but only a few people heard me. However, we had a few fun parts...I threw in a "大家准备好了吗?!" (Is everybody ready?!) right before the song went crazy. And then at the end when I said "Forget it, let's go home" to walk off the stage, I picked up one of my dancers like a surfboard under my arm. My four dancers were the four trouble makers James, James, William, and Kobe Bryant. Oscar was down below helping us with the dance movements--he didn't want to perform after he got the busted eye, but he still wanted to be a part of it. The picture at the end is of all my squad.

Games and Black Eyes

Pretty much every class I try to work in at least one game--sometimes they involve very little English, sometimes more. They way I see it, these kids have so much energy that they need to have the outside time and the camp leaders even said that we shouldn't be too hard on them--this camp is supposed to be a break from the intense Chinese instruction.

We played a lot of games, but two kind of stuck out. The first was called "The Cinnamon Roll"--got this idea from another volunteer. You basically have everyone stand shoulder-to-shoulder and hold hands in a straight line. Then, one person on one end stands still while the people on the other end run around in big circles. Everyone wraps around the person who isn't moving (this takes a lot of running if you are on the outside) until you get the person in the middle all wrapped up in one big hug that looks like a cinnamon roll. As we did it, we inevitably had our line break up at some points because some people ran faster than others, but it still worked out alright. We had our big cinnamon roll, and of course, as I was on the outside, I took the initiative to push everyone over. You can see all the pictures of all this--we ended up doing it three or four times. I think the kids really liked dog-piling on 20-something year-old American.

The other game that was a lot of fun for most of the time was Red Rover. It took the kids a little while to understand that everyone had to chant the same phrase, but they eventually got it. Me and the TA (Each teacher has a TA, who is actually their group leader. By that I mean he leads them in every activity other than English class.) were on separate teams. I had the balls to pick our TA, who is a very athletic guy who would obviously break our line, but this led to the other team picking me--a serious mistake. It was getting down to the end of the class period, and I had to pick my favorite student, Oscar, even though I was certain he would break our line. Everyone knew he was one of the most athletic kids, and so no one was picking him.

Well, being the certain kid he is, Oscar went for the hands of me and this girl. I was not going to let go of this girl's hand. He backed up to get a little running start, then tore out like a bat out of hell. Turns out I was a little too tall, and our arms caught him right in the face. It was a straight clothesline like no other. One second he was running upright and vertical, and the next he was lying on his back. I basically watched his eye swell up like a golf ball right there on the spot. Being the kind of kid he was, he claimed it didn't hurt, and it seemed that he was more embarrassed than anything. I followed him up to the nurse's office to see if he was okay. He was fighting back tears, then I stepped outside for a second. When I came back in to tell him I'd be there for him if he needed anything, I saw he had let the water flow once he thought I was gone. He went the rest of the camp wearing a hat tilted to cover the eye, but none of this held him back from mixing it up with ladies on the bus to the vineyard. Apparently they were doing dares to kiss girls, and he ended up going full on with some other camper (Jes got the pic). He's going to be in Beijing when I am, so I plan on meeting up with him and his family....Btw, check out the new pics of me in the cigarette factory and giving my speech, both in previous posts.

Hot Springs and Cigarettes

On a day when afternoon classes were canceled, all the volunteers made a trip to the town’s hot springs (Of course, I was FORTUNATE enough to have a night class rather than an afternoon class, so I GOT to teach…yay). In usual camp fashion, the leaders of the camp left us at the school (we weren’t told times that the buses were leaving until it was too late) and then they left us at the springs. We weren’t really given any guidelines, but at this point that wasn’t anything new. Communication at this camp was a little rough.

These springs are set in an area that would remind you of any resort area in the States—very modern, clean, and luxurious. The hot springs were arranged in a tiered fashion up the mountain/hill, so we trekked to find the most comfortable area. Each pool was being fed by a “volcano”…you could have boiled an egg in that water. Of course, this led to many dares to see who could sit in it the longest (you can see Joe getting some). I didn’t win, but was still in long enough to have a mark on my stomach where the water came to, as Cynthia pointed out later. I was very close to pushing Cynthia in, and in hindsight she deserved it, that jerk. Haha. We lounged (Jes found a good spot, as you can see. She wanted to take those rocks and water home with her on the plane for a good ride home), I got buried in the sand, and I helped teach Chelsea, who is one of the volunteers, how to swim freestyle. Chelsea is Chinese and married to Sam (shown in the 3rd pic), who is from Pittsburgh and has been living in China for four years. Chinese people in general only swim the breaststroke…that’s pretty much all Chelsea knew how to do.

We ended up getting back for dinner, and I hadn’t had time to plan my entire lesson, which led to frustrations in class and me eventually going off on the class for the only time all week, which I ended up regretting. They were out of control, I had had enough, and I let them know. I was like the crazy devil from hell, and you could tell they were scared because they shut up and were real shy about talking the rest of the night.

The following day after classes were done, we made a short trip to Hong He Cigarette Company—which is the company that funds the school at which our camp was. We got to see all about their production process, which they said was the most modernized in the world for a cigarette company. Cartons of cigarettes moved like trains on a track overhead near the ceiling. We got to see all the duds, which was, for example, two cigarettes fused together for an ultra cigarette, or ones that only had filter and no tobacco. I had a little fun with these, as you can see. And, in the end, I left wanting a cigarette.

Me and My Class

So teaching is actually over now. After 5 days of teaching, I'm exhausted, but I still want to tell you about it. Since I didn't have time to blog much while I was busy preparing lessons and catering to all the school's requirements, I'll be recapping everything for you. Over the past week I've grown pretty close to my class--there are kids in there so cute you just want to eat them. Even the naughty ones tend to be quite endearing. I told my mom I didn't think I'd have kids. Now I know I won't--I'll just adopt a Chinese one.

Generally speaking, we teach 3-5 hours of class a day. It's kind of tough coming up with 3-5 hours worth of new material every day...especially when you're doing it on the fly--we had no warning beforehand how it was going to work out. Thus, my lessons usually start out with some jumping jacks and light exercise to wake the kids up, then we do a lesson using Power Point--these have included animals, colors, foods, American holidays and landmarks, etc., and then we finish up with a game (or two).

One particular time of madness came on the first night. The kids acted like they were on speed or something. I made the terrible mistake of playing "I Like...", which is where all the students mingle together and say the following convo: A: Hello; B: Hello; A: Do you like ice cream?; B: Yes, I do!, do you like pizza?; A: No I don't!; B: Thank you; A: Goodbye. Each student had to use all four items that were given (pizza and ice cream would be two of them). Now imagine that you've got 23 students enclosed in a circle of desks that's 1/3 the size of the class room. Now realize that they're being timed to see if they can beat their score. It was nuts. Kids were climbing on each other, screaming, choking each other, and just laughing nonsensically. We only played one round. So much for "mingling". After that we went outside and played Red Rover, Red Rover. They really got into it--and no, I didn't get put into the stew pot.

There's a couple kids I especially like. Oscar is my favorite (he's in the second pic sitting at the desk). He's one of the smartest kids in the class, he has the best English out of any of them (he once rattled off over 10 NBA players when I asked for example--I had to cut him off), and I can tell he's not only popular, but he's also the leader of the class. Him and his friends once saw me running and took off to catch me...no one did, but Oscar stuck with me the longest--that earned points in my book.

Daron--he was trouble in class, but in the end he ended up being pretty cool. He wanted me to call him Kobe Bryant, and he even made his name tag as Kobe Bryant. He was kind of the class clown, always trying to tell me what I should do (you can see an example of this in the 3rd picture) or trick me into giving him chocolate (on the third day of teaching I started using chocolate as a bribe...and it worked pretty well).

Kobe and Oscar were in a row with William (he's in the 2nd pic helping Oscar) and the two James's. The two James's and Daron looked really similar, and those 3 along with Oscar and William were my trouble makers. They were also the ones I got to know the best and the ones I ended up doing a little performance with...I'll get to that later...

That last pic (clockwise) is of Daron, Natalie, Lily, and Lucy when we were playing an Olympic memorization game. Daron tried to cheat by looking at books in the class. Lucy was one of my favorites--good English, but an even harder worker.

Reliving Summer Camp Days

Remember those days when you would be free from parents, chores, and intense Chinese summer study? (okay, everything except for the last one maybe). How about being put in awkward situations with people you didn't previously know but who, at the end of one week, seemed like your best friend and became the person you needed to sit by you at the dinner table so that you didn't stick out? Remember wearing the same t-shirt for days, and having your swimsuit double as part of your daily outfit? Maybe I'm just weird and that's just me, but that's what this feels like--except now I'm a teacher, and it's kind of tough.

After loading one of 5 buses packed full of Chinese kids and giving a little speech about myself, we took a 3 hour trip to Mile (pronounced "mee-luh"). Mile is famous as being one of the headquarters of Honghe cigarette company (huge in China, which is home to 1/3 of the world's smoking population). The school we arrived at, Qinglai School, is all Honghe money, as is much of the town...I've seen stucco homes and nicely manicured lawns that remind me of Florida. The school did not disappoint: its facilities would make my high school look like a joke, and even put most private Catholic schools to shame. The school is laid out around a huge lake, that has a high diving board (30 feet?...you take an elevator to the top). It has an area for gymnastics, a huge basketball area, several soccer fields, a track, an amphitheater, an auditorium, and its own beaches around the lake, among other things. The grass is amazing...you come to realize how important grass is after you've been pounding around in the concrete-laden cities for a month. The website is www.qlschool.cn but the pictures are lacking.

Anyway, we got there, and of course they had Beijing Olympic shirts for us, with the camp's name on it. Everyone was issued two shirts, and the campers have been wearing them every day so far...it's kind of nasty, but they say they've been washing them in the sink. You can see two of our volunteers: Sam on the left and Joseph on the right. Sam constantly has Chinese people touch his dreads to see if they are real. He has even been named "Predator" from the movie, because of his looks. He said he'll be walking around and kids that aren't even in his class will call him that.

We got settled in and the leaders of the camp decided to move the opening ceremony from Monday afternoon to just 2 hours after we arrived at the camp...nice. It wouldn't have been a problem, but I had to give a speech as representative of all the American volunteers, because of my leadership position. My speech had been written for me because I had gotten very sick, but it was still all in Chinese characters and I had yet to translate or figure out what a few of the characters meant. So, with the help of Leonardo, my next door neighbor, I scrambled through the speech and figured it out, translating it the best I could.

I pulled through--despite a couple hiccups, the speech went okay...I had to read it in both English and Chinese. Then I skipped dinner in favor of my long run, eating Ramen-like noodles instead. The next day we had class...and we had been given little, or rather no instruction on how to teach. My class specializes in games. This picture is of us getting ready to play telephone--you can imagine the weird things you end up with when you've got kids who can barely speak English. I'll keep you updated on our progress.

I Beat...No, Slaughtered a Chinese Person in Ping Pong

If anyone can remember in my other blog when I went to the ping pong park in Beijing, I was hoping for another similar experience, without all the horrible beat downs by old Chinese ladies that could've played for the US Olympic team. I asked Mrs. Wang if there was a ping pong park in Kunming, and she took this to mean simply, "I want to play ping pong," even though I wanted to find a similar ping pong park. So she took us to her gym, which was a Powerhouse Gym, an American brand. It had all your top facilities, from free internet, to a juice bar, to a relaxation lounge--but definitely did not have an authentic ping pong park. Oh well.

By now I'm starting to get the feeling that Mrs. Wang is pretty well off and, she's the type of person who gives 100% and expects the best. With her really nice house, second apartment in the city center, her Mitsubishi SUV, and all the restaurants she's taken me and accommodations she's made for me—it's slowly become clear. She's the kind of person who emails back immediately, almost always answers her phone, and has been able to juggle her job and this summer camp (and me...I'm a hassle). Her son, Zak, attends one of the toughest high schools in the city. I learned this through a mutual friend, who just graduated. He admitted that his high school was pretty laid back, but explained that Zak was attending the school of Mrs. Wang's choice. As Zak will be a senior next year, the preparation for the Gao Kao (College Entrance Exam) has already begun, and he has classes pretty much all this summer. He attends Monday through Saturday, and he gets less than two weeks off...trying selling that to your son or daughter.

So I guess you've become accustomed to my tangents by now. As I was saying, we went to the gym. Jes and I started playing. She beat me 2-1 on some cheap serves and rules that were not previously explained (starting the game off 5-0 leads to a victory). So we played best of 5 and yours truly took home the gold. At that point I was really worn out from winning so much, but Mrs. Wang wanted a go. After I started out destroying her 13-3, she handed the paddle over to the aforementioned mutual friend, and I continued the demolition. It ended in a route, 21-6. America, gotta represent. So yea, actually I beat TWO Chinese people.

In the days after I got sick, I then hobbled into the summer camp preparations. All the camp volunteers finally convened at a hotel, and that night we went out for some good old Kareoke. This is two years running for me, so it's becoming somewhat of a tradition. Matt's (young guy in pic) pick of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" was clutch, and I came up with probably the pick of the night in the Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way". Good times...it's still early, so maybe I'll get another session in this summer.

Welcome to the Good Life

On the itinerary was to get rural one more time. Less time was spent checking out schools and much more just experiencing the life of a rural resident…although it wasn’t authentic, because during the 3 days we were there they took off from work. Nonetheless, we still got a pretty good taste.

Rather than staying in a cushy hotel like before, we stayed at Mrs. Wang’s relative’s (Mrs. Yang) sister’s house, which was about an hour away from Kunming. It was rural. You can see our bathroom, which was basically a hole in the ground. Our hosts advised me, that should I have to go late at night, don’t bother going to this bathroom, which was outside the gate…just use the drain on the patio. While I had no such experience, my friend Jes, who is one of our volunteers and is staying with me until the camp, had someone squat down next to her…there were two holes with no divider. Chinese people are very good at doing the “China squat”, as Jes calls it. It’s basically where you sit like a baseball catcher, with your butt above the ground and your heals touching the ground. Try it sometime, kind of difficult. You’ll see people all over the city, not sitting on the curb, but doing the China squat—I thought they learned it because the ground was so dirty and dusty (everything’s dusty in China), but Jes hypothesizes that they do it because they are used to doing it from the toilets (which are set in the ground). Anyway, the old lady sat down next to Jes, made some comment about her skin color, and then pinched her butt, I guess to see if it was real. Kind of awkward with your pants down.

Anyway, the whole trip seemed to be focused around food (by the way, check out Mrs. Yang’s dad’s slaughter room…from what I took in, they slaughter and smoke the meat right there...that's a real countryside house). With no work, and without a booming entertainment industry, it seemed like all we did was eat. During an afternoon over some ice cream, apples, and grapes, they asked me how I was liking the rural life. I said I liked it, even though I wasn’t getting the real deal, and noted how it seemed like everything was food oriented. One day’s schedule:

7:30: I wake up to run, the ladies have just gotten up to start cooking.
9:00: Breakfast is on the table after I get back from the run
9:30: After breakfast, I learn to make dumplings (see pic) and fail miserably at first, but then get the hang of it. That lasts until about 10:30. The women continue cooking other dishes for lunch.
11:30: Lunch is served, even though breakfast was just a couple hours ago
12:30: We head out to the woods to look for mushrooms for dinner (see Mrs. Yang and Jes in the picture)
2:00: We come back empty handed and have the aforementioned chat over ice cream, apples, and grapes…they were throwing all kinds of stuff at us
3:30: Rain starts coming, so we pack it in. The women begin preparing dinner soon after…I hit up a nap after some work
6:00: Dinner is served, minus our mushrooms…but plus a lot of other good stuff in what’s called Hot Pot. Basically, it’s a hodgepodge of meat and veggies in a boiling broth.
7:00: Another hungry relative arrives, so we chat with him while he eats dinner. He tries to get me to eat the chicken head, and says that in the countryside, if you eat the chicken head, you will be a very well-respected guest. I told him that they could respect Jes.

Mrs. Yang’s daughter, Xing Yu (pictured), is about the cutest Chinese kid I’ve ever seen. She’s the type of Chinese kid you’d steal. Okay, too far. I’ve gotten to know her pretty well—she calls me big brother Rob, and I call her little sister Xing Yu. Anyway, throughout the trip, her and her cousin watched this Japanese show that looked like the precursor to Power Rangers. It was Japanese and terrible. It was one of those shows where it was so dumb and ridiculous that you just couldn’t look away. We put up with it though, and the trip ended up being really cool and educational, even if I got deathly sick for the second time just a couple days later.

A Kid's Day at the Park

So actually before I went to the countryside, on the Sunday before with that group of families, we went to the park. But not your average park, this was a minority park. China has 56 races in China, including the Han majority. Yunnan, which is the province I'm currently living in, has 25 races. This park had all 25 races, and you could visit them in different villages. From talking with a few friends, I've learned that the minorities are pretty well respected. The Han majority doesn't look down on the other minorities.

Anyway, as we entered the park, guess what's the first thing we saw? A freaking elephant! (if you couldn't deduct from the enormous picture). In hindsight, it was a really cruel operation: the elephant was chained up by the leg, only allowed to walk a few meters, and it was forced to obey like a dog for picture-posing purposes. But hey, this is China, I've seen worse things. And at 10 kuai for a ride, how could you turn it down? I got a nice little ride for my friend, patted him on the head (his hair strands were as thick wire coat hangers!), and hoped that at least he was getting some good grub.

We wandered around for a while, seeing various villages and running into the tallest Chinese people I've ever seen. They had to have been basketball players because there was a group of them about 6'7" or taller. Whenever I go to China, people always ask me, "So, are you gonna be the tallest person over there?" No. That stereotype doesn't hold anymore. True, they are on average shorter than Americans, but nutrition has come a long way. I'd say a more accurate stereotype is bad teeth. I think I started to realize this two years ago when I went on a mad search for floss, only to find it at Beijing's World Trade Center. Since then I've noticed teeth, or the absence of teeth in many cases. My teeth aren't perfect, but I've definitely seen colors on the once "pearly-whites" that do not belong there.

Okay, sorry for the tangent. Anyway, we walked around for awhile, finally came to this village where a guy was belting out "Beyond" (a famous Chinese song, I found out) while playing guitar. I politely declined an invitation to sing with him, as I didn't know the words, but I did get a picture—not taken by my American friend Jes but this random Chinese guy. He was a Beijing-er here in Kunming on business (a conference for facial recognition at Yunnan University, so this guy was smart) and really excited to meet me. He said he'd shoot me an email and maybe we could meet up when I get to the capital later this month.

What did we find next? An archery range! At one kuai (about 15 cents) per arrow, I purchased five. You could hunt all your favorite animals, from tigers to toucans to monkeys. After working that tiger like it had eaten my lunch, I found out that because I hit the target, I won a prize, a pretty pathetic prize, but a prize nonetheless! It is this red heart on a lanyard. I wore it around the rest of the day. Don't be surprised if it ends up in your stocking this Christmas. The whole day ended up at this posh restaurant with our friend's family. We were served a corn juice drink...basically like a corn smoothie, or corn-on-a-cob in a cup (see the yellow drinks in the pic). Sounds nasty, but I actually drank the whole thing.

What a kid experience. As you can see, I managed to turn something that could possibly be very educational into more of a play land. I eschewed the sign reading for elephant riding, guitar posing, and cross-bow firing. At one point, when admitting to Jes, my American friend, that I was ignorant of the difference between Taoism and Buddhism despite being an East Asian Studies major, she asked, "So, do you even study other cultures?" Nope, I'm just here for the party (and to study a little Mandarin). What a child.

Passed Around Like a Cheap...

So I realize it's been a while since I last posted. I've been busy...busy getting passed around. Tuesday through Friday I went to a nearby town called Jinning, which is kind of like a suburb of Kunming, to tour schools for my research. For each school I was hosted by a different group of teachers and administrators. I came back on Friday afternoon, caught my breath, and then started Saturday with another couple groups of Chinese families that were hosting one of the volunteers I recruited. So basically, Tuesday morning through Sunday night, with the exception of Friday night/Saturday morning I was accompanied by someone all day.

Now, having a host is all good and nice, but having 25-30 hosts in one week is quite a different story. Each host wants to take you out to eat three meals a day, order the food they think you should try (or are the "specialties" of this area), ask you the same questions about your background you've been asked repeatedly, and won't let YOU rest until you've experienced the China they think you should. Never mind them coming with you the entire time...they'll just pass you off to someone else.

For example, at meals, they'll order an excessive amount of food, as is custom when you have a visitor (especially foriegn), and then basically force feed you until you explode. You definitely get to try some good food (see me eating yellow watermelon, which is extra sweet), but then you also have your questionable ones: just in the last week I've eaten eel, snake skin, rabbit, and pig's ear. I went along with this jig early on, but now I just put my foot down and tell them I'm full. I know there's more food coming soon...when they run out of things to do with you they just have you eat, so sometimes you'd be eating dinner at absurd times, like 4:30.

And at meals it's custom to drink "baijiu", which is 50% alcohol...kind of like a strong vodka. And it's required that you toast to someone or everyone each time you take a drink (see the pic). I finally traded in for beer, but man.

Trying this food and doing these toast traditions is cool with me, and these people had no problem with it, but that's probably because they were only experiencing it for one day (I tend to believe that they don't have all this extravagance when it's just their family), where as I was pretty much doing it for 5-6 days straight. You start to get worn out, especially when everyone's speaking Chinese and you're struggling to follow the conversation...working your brain that much can get exhausting, if you've ever experienced with foreign languages.

However, the trip was productive—the research was good, and I saw some interesting stuff, like the paintings on the sides of the houses that were being done in a local Yi minority village. The local government was paying $30,000 (yes, American dollars) to paint the sides of all the houses along the street in this village. They were all depicting the spring festival. It was a pretty incredible undertaking, as there were a lot of houses--it reminded me of building the homecoming float, and how over the top we went.

Another plus, I made a couple new friends: Rex and Yang Zhan (Yang is with me in the close up...how cute). When they were together, Rex was the talkative one, as he was an English teacher with pretty decent English. He would speak in English and I would answer back in Chinese. He was a little extreme with his hospitality—everything from giving up his chair for me at the dinner table to making sure I had plenty of bottled water at all times. When we finally pulled up to my hotel on the day I was with him, he said he would come with me to help me get to my room (I had been living there for two days). When I politely replied that I thought I could handle it, he said, "Well, just deal with it." I think some of the meaning/intention got lost in translation, but I was still taken aback a bit. I told him that I was not his girlfriend, and that he didn't need to walk me.

A similar situation happened the next day when, after asking to have a break a take a nap before dinner, we pulled up to the hotel again. This time Rex wasn't there. When I got out the driver/host asked, "Does your room have one or two beds?" I gave a confused reply: "Two." "Well, then Yang Zhan should come sleep with you and keep you company." Now they'd stepped over the line. I told him that all I'd be doing is sleeping...nothing too exciting. Yang Zhan, who ended up being a really good friend (soon to be a senior in H.S.) and who gave me some red tea as a parting gift, could take a hint and refused to come up to my room.

I'm sorry to sound so negative—I really appreciate them taking me in. But at some point, hospitality becomes excessive, and actually defeats its purpose. It becomes pushy. I think a few of my hosts this past week touched this point. Tomorrow I head back to the countryside for three days. Wish me luck.

Dinner with 20 of My Friends

In China you have "good China days" and "bad China days". To use it in a sentence, you might say to a friend, "Man, I'm having a really bad China day." When you're having a bad China day, nothing is clicking. Nobody understands your Chinese, making you feel like a moron. You're sick of eating oily food and white rice, which is now flowing through your bloodstream. You're tired of dirty streets, dirty air, trash everywhere, and toilets that are set in the ground...give me a free standing toilet for crying out loud, I'm tired of squatting. And you just generally miss your friends, family, and basically anyone who can speak English.

Well...today WASN'T one of those days. The air was clean, the food was good, and I felt like my goal of one day becoming fluent was attainable. I went out for dinner at about 10:30...I know, but I had a lot of work. Actually, the only reason I left is because I thought they might close. "They" are this awesome noodle place--get a little egg, chicken, and vegetables mixed with spaghetti-type noodles in some killer seasoning (probably MSG too)--yea, that's right up my ally. So, I head out to pick up the food with full intentions to take it back home and watch a couple episodes of Seinfeld on DVD (sometimes you get tired of eating alone in restaurants and being watched the entire time).

I almost reach the noodle place--which is just kind of a tent on the side of the road with a stove set up...quite common--and this group of people at another "restaurant" (same setup) right across the street see me. There was probably about 13-15 people. They begged me to eat with them. I asked the chef if he made the same stuff I wanted. After he said no, I went to the other place, grabbed my food, and when I came back, they had a seat set up for me, chopsticks ready, and a full bowl of rice, even though I was clearly having my own dish. At that point I still hadn't agreed to eat with them, but once I did, they cheered like Yao Ming had just been named MVP.

Once I sat down, more people joined and crowded around the table to hear what I had to say. By the time that picture was taken, we had at least 20 people. They were pushing me to try all the dishes, and they wanted to know everything about me. They guy in the grey suit on the right was cracking jokes near they end, which I really didn't understand, but which were getting big laughs, probably at my expense. Once I got up to leave, they asked me where I lived. I pointed to the tall nearby apartment, and the girl in the hat on the right asked "Which floor?". Wow. I answered honestly (9th floor), laughed a little, then said goodbye to my new friends. And then, once home, I got in my episodes of Seinfeld. Solid day. A good China day.

Probably Not Your Catholic High School

Actually, I know the schools that I visited weren’t—the principal at the first school explained that all schools in the county were public, due to the living standards in the area. Let me say first, this did not appear to be a doomsday scenario—there weren’t 90 kids packed into a tiny room using 30 books between them, which were so old that World War I was referred to in the “Current Events” section. And no, they weren’t being taught by some old guy off the street who just happened to need a job, and who didn’t even graduate high school himself (one elementary school’s courtyard was quite nice, see pic). Maybe it’s just because I’ve been to China several times and am used to subpar conditions and just expect this sort of stuff. But it just wasn’t the worst case possible.

However, you would never find anything like this in the States, and most likely not even in Chinese cities. On Wednesday afternoon I visited three elementary schools, and hit up a high school and another elementary school on Thursday. To give you a little background, elementary school in China is grades 1-6, middle school 7-9, and high school 10-12. To advance from high school to college, you have to take the feared college placement test, the score of which all but seals your economic fate in China by determining which colleges you can apply to (which usually in turn determines what kind of job you will have). To advance from middle school to high school, students also take a high school placement test, and this test also stamps a number on your head and then determines your eligible high schools. Through talking to a couple of Chinese students, they did not appreciate the system, even though they scored well. Because the middle school I planned to visit was taking that test, we weren’t able to go. But I still did find some interesting stuff, and it’s separated into a few main themes I kept running into.

Government Assistance – Compulsory education ends when students get to high school. Therefore, the government does not fully fund (if at all) high schools. To attend, these rural students must pay for tuition, room and board (90% of students live on campus, as home can be as far away as four or five miles…think walking), food for all meals, and books. At the elementary and middle schools, classrooms receive shiny new textbooks quite frequently, as they are issued by the government. The high school teacher, Mr. Wang, explained that these fees are the biggest problems facing students. Even if a student does do well on his or her middle school exit exam, the fees that student faces in the city are even higher than the ones in the country. The student is usually forced to attend his school, which Mr. Wang admitted, was quite poor—only 20% of graduates attend college. He feels the government should cover the fees to give students who want to continue their education a fighting chance…makes sense.

Facilities – At every campus I visited teachers were eager to point out deficiencies in their facilities. Principal Zhu, at the first elementary school, showed me the pathetic-looking light bulbs. She said that in the morning, the lights aren’t bright enough, so students study in semi-darkness. The ceilings were also a problem—as the building was really old, it wasn’t made well and the ceilings were too thin. The constant moving around above was a huge distraction during the class day. Whether too old or not enough, pretty much every school had a need for desks. Mr. Wang showed me how in 2005 he had purchased nearly half of the new desks (pictured). Funding ran out when student population dried up (remember, no government funds), and so half the desks were still a quarter of a century old. Most buildings were pretty old (see the girls dorms in the pic...8 to a room!). One teacher pointed to their administrative office, which he explained, kind of laughingly, was once a Buddist mosque—a structure over 100 years old. During my tour around the high school, Mr. Wang pointed out a handful of buildings (seemed like 1/3 of the standing structures) that were now abandoned, as they were deemed safety hazards.

Teachers – At pretty much all the schools there were enough teachers—student to teacher ratios got as low as 13:1, Ivy League style. And quality was decent—about 90% held undergraduate degrees. But they were dying for some English-speaking teachers. In China, students start learning English in 3rd grade (I believe). However, in the countryside, the government allows schools to start teaching English in middle school, because most counties have an insufficient amount of English teachers. This was the case in this county. So these kids are not getting exposure to English until 7th grade, and English makes up one-fourth of the college placement test. At this point I was starting to see why city folks are rich.

Learning Materials – On top of the difference in textbooks (or at least the means of attaining them) I was interested to know about the school’s library and computers. Or should I say “computer”, as in singular (you can see me using it!). Each elementary school had one computer for the whole the school (yes, that’s one computer, and some of these schools had up to 600 students). I asked how the students took turns using it, and the principal remarked, “Well, only the teachers use it and the students crowd around.” Awesome. Later I thought about what kids in the States are doing these days in 5th or 6th grade on the computer—like night and day. While the computer wasn’t running MS DOS (it had XP), it definitely didn’t have an internet connection. As for the library, you can see the expanse of books available to students in grade 1 in the computer picture. Each grade has its own little cabinet. These things were depressingly small—approximately 200 books per cupboard. The situation was similar at other elementary schools, and I didn’t get a chance to see the high school’s.

Well, I realize this has gotten long, but I wanted to give you the full scope of what I saw. Now you can go back to class this fall and think, “Man, I hate doing this stupid work, but at least I have a light to see this stupid work that I so much hate doing.”

Into the Wild

Okay, so I wasn't living off twigs and berries, nor was I trying to find some new meaning to life like Chris McCandless (see the movie, it's a good one), but I was in a pretty rural place—China's countryside. Here, cattle and goats outnumber cars in the streets 3-to-1, and drivers need to be more on a lookout for cow dung than potholes.

I finally got a schedule from my organization that has me going to three different villages and Yunnan University over the next two and a half weeks to study the educational situation of the countryside versus the city. What I've found has been interesting, to say the least. I plan on devoting the next post to an in-depth look at the education system of the countryside, or at least this small county named Zhuan Long. There is just too much to go over.

We left on Wednesday morning. I wake up at the crack of 6:30, seriously too early. Especially since we didn't end up leaving until 9:45...they just needed to pick me up to bring me to Mrs. Wang's house to wait for her to get done with some work...I think to myself, "I could've just taken a cab later." I was basically falling asleep standing up, because two nights ago I had come in from Xi'an, and still hadn't caught up on sleep. I pass out immediately in the car, or at least try to. It wasn't very comfortable, but I managed to get some sleep. When I wake up our car is passing an old man herding some goats up the mountain. We're now a mile and a quarter up in the sky, and it's not fog that we're driving through, but clouds. In tow is Mrs. Wang driving, Mrs. Yang, who is her cousin the lady that always cooks for me, and Zak, Mrs. Wang's high school son.

Three hours after leaving we arrive, and two days of extreme hospitality begins. We meet our hosts, Mr. Hu, a portly young guy (1st pic with the tan jacket), and his slender friend with a bad limp (never got his name...he's in the 1st pic with the white shirt). The entire time there I wonder where it came from, but never get up the courage to ask. We are first treated to lunch, which wasn't very good (I haven't like Yunnan food so far, for the most part), and then our bags are taken to our rooms. Mrs. Wang pulls a quick one on me by saying that she and Mrs. Yang are going back to Kunming. Wow. Didn't see that coming. It was going to be just me and Zak for the next two days. I was actually kind of happy—she tends to add structure that I sometimes need a break from.

The amazing thing about this trip is that everything was taken care of in advance by Mrs. Wang. Our living and host arrangements were made and paid for, and once in town, the host made sure that every school was ready for me to do my research. We went school hopping—five schools in two days. When we arrived at each one, a teacher or administrator was there to receive us and show me around. All this was set up for my research. Even Zak served as my translator when necessary. What I saw and learned at the schools was confirming. I've heard reports about the schools in the countryside, but this was personal experience. You'll hear more in the next post.

I went on a couple runs while in town, climbing up mountains on dirt paths past gawking farmers with thatched crop baskets on their backs. The views were incredible. Rivers cut through mountains that had had every parcel of level ground terraced for planting. White clouds floated lowly over grazing cattle. Unfortunately I didn't have my camera, but pictures really wouldn't do it justice.

At nighttime there wasn't much to do—entertainment was not a strongpoint of this town. Yes there was electricity, running water, and even three internet cafes, if you were wondering. As we were on our own at nights, and it was down pouring, preventing an evening walk, I was drawn to the internet cafes. I was also drawn to the trash can, when on the first night I stayed up until 5am losing weight. Those were some of the worst stomach problems I've ever had...midway through the night I asked myself if this is what dying felt like. I'll save ya the details.

Sitting with Mr. Hu before one meal, he explained how their development had been really quick. I immediately thought about how I had been unable to find a COLD Coke in the town the prior night. His gimpy friend explained that his family didn't have electricity until 1983. Jeez. How would my brothers live without electricity to feed their XBOX needs, or better yet, how would I live without the internet? All these meals (that got me sick) were eaten at the hotel's restaurant, which has the patio pictured. I asked why there was never anyone at the restaurant except for us (I also never saw anyone at the hotel either...not a vacation destination, maybe?), and he said that it was because we ate dinner too late. However, we ate lunch at 11am one day, dinner at 6 another day—so I wasn't convinced.

Seeing this part of China, “how the other half lives”, was really eye-opening. On a short walk before we left town, I ran into two sweet old ladies. It was pretty impossible to tell how old they were—I think the countryside ages you a little differently—but the lady closest in the picture was missing more teeth than she owned. They wanted to know about me, because they had seen me pass by, and I found out that they were next door neighbors, and both their children were still living in Zhuan Long. I got the feeling that this was the case for most people here—they were born here and still hadn't left. I certainly wouldn't want to live here, but there was something charming about the place—a nice break from the city bustle.